


broken but i smile for you.

by chocolino



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreaking, M/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 21:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21106058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolino/pseuds/chocolino
Summary: "I loved you, but not anymore"





	broken but i smile for you.

**Author's Note:**

> my first attempt to actually make a full angst typed but yeah. 
> 
> this fic inspired by Day6 - I Smile.

jungmo has always loved minhee. more than bestfriend way, and jungmo is aware of that and he scared. he and minhee has always been that bestfriend goals where everyone around them adore and jealous. jungmo started to realize the feelings he had for minhee 4years ago. when they both are at the school camp, where jungmo lost in the forest and minhee come to rescue him. it was cute and short, but that's enough for jungmo to know that he thankful that he have minhee in his life. and he hate that he actually want minhee to protect him like that forever. 

minhee is dense, jungmo could tell. even with lot of teasing or flirting, he was dense. they both have coming out to their parents, it was all good. even his school friends knew about it and thank god, everything just fine. it was jungmo's idea (mostly) to come out and both of them actually come to learnt that they both are not straight. jungmo told minhee first before everyone else, and he thankful that minhee doesnt have any judgement over that. and surprisingly, minhee also coming out to him. what jungmo thought could lead to something, ended with nothing. 

by the time they both came out, jungmo already fell for minhee. but deep down, jungmo knew that minhee liked their other mutuals, hwang yunseong. that's why minhee was so eager to coming out at school, despite knowing they both might get bullied for that. thank god, they didnt. that one time when their science teacher asked them to look for a partner for their experiment, and minhee just left him for yunseong. that time, he knew, minhee have things for yunseong. 

__ 

"okay class, i want you guys to look for a person who you trusted to be your partner for this experiment, remember, i take your marks this time!" mrs. seo said, looking dearly at her students who are now chattering, asking their friends to be patnered. 

jungmo then look at his tablemate, minhee. but minhee turned his head, directly to yunseong's seat. to be honest, jungmo and minhee havent been apart since kid, they always together even for group projects, these two always together. as jungmo want to ask minhee to be his partner, minhee then screamed "hwang yunseong, can i be your partner?" and which, make the whole dead silence, looking at minhee and jungmo. and then they all look back at yunseong, who just smiles and nodded his head. without saying anything to jungmo, minhee then pack his things, walk to yunseong. without even looking back. jungmo creep out a smile, like he doesnt care. but deep down, he's breaking. 

and so, jungmo is partner with moon hyunbin that day. not gonna lie, jungmo's eyes keep looking at the two table behind him. minhee and yunseong look happy. jungmo can tell. that smiles minhee gave to yunseong isnt any regular smile, he only give that smiles when he look at something he like, for example, when he watch his favorite anime. jungmo know, he is defeated. 

"all good bro?" hyunbin asked him, 

and jungmo shot him a smile, nodded before proceed to write whatever mr.seo's have written on the whiteboard. little did hyunbin know, that jungmo is sad. 

later that day, jungmo tried to act like normal (talk alot or teasing his classmates) but who is he kidding, he cant. he cant fake it. he did fake his smile the whole day, but it was hard for him. even with minhee now by his side, talking about anything, jungmo cant focus. because he know, minhee wont like him back. and its hurt him more. he didnt like the idea of being rejected. he hate that feelings. the feels that make you feel like not worth it, the embarrasement, the awkwardness. jungmo scared of it.

"jungmo, are you okay? you didnt look very well since the science class..."  
"yea, im just fine..."  
"you sure?"  
"yes, so sure.. dont worry about me... anyways, how is it partner up with yunseong?"

as soon as jungmo shot the question, minhee's eyes lit up. jungmo fake a smile. 

"oh, he was fun" minhee said, visible blushed on his cheeks.  
"what kind of fun?? i havent seen you actually talk to him before... so, why now?" jungmo dead curious about this.  
"um, i dont know.. he didnt talk much but he is funny... and he make a good friend... and why now? because i feel like it"

jungmo let out a deep sigh he didnt know he was holding. 

"why would you sigh? wouldnt you be happy that i make friend?" minhee asked, acting as if he is hurt by that  
"yeah im happy that you make friend.. but look like you really like his company,, you might left me soon" jungmo said.  
"hey jungmo! i would never left you behind okay? we are bestfriend! and we will always be" 

yeah. we will always be. bestfriend. 

__ 

few months after that, minhee did really become close to yunseong. where it come to the point, they both always going out to study or shopping together (almost everyday). leaving jungmo alone. not knowing anything. if it wasnt hyunbin who told him, he would never know. jungmo cried for the whole day. the world is cruel. minhee havent visit his house for two weeks now, saying he is busy with groupworks, or his parents didnt let him out. which is didnt make sense. minhee's parents already know jungmo's family, heck, theyre close enough to let their son sleep in at the latter's house. jungmo didnt buy it one bit, but for minhee, he faked his feelings. 

its hurt jungmo. knowing that his own bestfriend lying to him. why didnt minhee just straight out told him that the going out with yunseong? it might hurt but atleast less hurt then knowing it from people's mouth. not long after that, he got a text from minhee. saying that he want to meet jungmo. at this one park near his house. and jungmo went there, without any suspicion or idea what minhee gonna say. 

__

jungmo arrived at the park, walking straight to his tall friend who sit at one of the bench, looking heck nervous even from behind. sudden rush of anxious come over to jungmo at once, he did feel like he want to leave but his feet quickly make it way to minhee. he take a deep breathe, looking at minhee. 

"hey, minhee! why cant you said it over text? whats so important that we need to meet dude?" jungmo asked, trying to stable his breathing. 

"dont get shocked by this." minhee sternly said, and jungmo's blood quickly rush inside his body. he isnt ready for any of this. 

"i have boyfriend" minhee said in one breathe, looking away from jungmo as he said that. 

jungmo however freeze there. hes sure he can heard his heart breaking apart, he can feel the way his stomach churned so bad, like it was getting stab by knifes multiple times. he can feel the tears in his eyes gonna fall any time. his throat dry. he want to vomit. his mind become blank. 

the long silence make minhee look back at jungmo, worried. 

"jungmo... are you okay??" 

at that moment, his voice croaked "c-congrats" he cant hold it any longer, his tears dropped. instantly, not sure how. he feel like he want to hide himself at some dark space. not wanting to let minhee look at his crying and breaking soul.

"w-why would you cry?? did i do something wrong?" minhee asked, worried. 

"no! NO! im OKAY... im happy for you! that's why i cried... dont take it the wrong way, im happy for you!! who is that lucky guy?" jungmo asked, still smiling. relieved with jungmo's answer, minhee smiles back, blushed creep on his cheeks again. 

"it's Yunseong" 

jungmo's tears drop more harshly as he said the name. he shouldve known. shouldve not let his high hopes. 

"god, im so happy for you! i shouldve know it by the time that you both keep going out! oh my god, congrats minhee..." 

"thankyou jungmo, im so ha-"

"sorry minhee, but i got to go! my parents asked me to come back home before 7pm. i need to go!" jungmo quickly stand up, shouting "congrats" few times before run to his home. 

__

jungmo is terribly hurt that time. he cant stop crying the whole day. he didnt eat any heavy foods for 4days, just some biscuits or bread he can found at the kitchen. even when his mom cooked him his favourite foods, he didnt have the appetite to eat. he just cant. and that's how he come down with height fever. his body completely weak. being admitted at ward for 2 weeks straight. and, minhee havent visited him once. jungmo doesnt know what to feel. dissappointed? sad? he never really know. he kind of numb by now. 

scrolling down his instagram just to see his timeline full with minhee and yunseong pictures going out together, and minhee dont even bother to text him to asked if he was okay or atleast visit him ONCE. jungmo's day started with him wishing that minhee will come visit but always ended with him crying. pathetic, everyone might said. even if he cant be someone special to minhee, he hope, minhee would come, as his bestfriend. the last time he talk or see minhee is the time when minhee confessed that he's dating yunseong. and he didnt heard any news from him after that. 

betrayal. 

there's always time where jungmo feel like he better didnt interrupt the couple. or, when he come back to school, he can simply hang with hyunbin and the other kids. and see how far minhee will go without him. call him bitter, because he is. 

the day where he finally back to school, minhee dont even spare an eyes at jungmo. as if they arent even friend before or anything. jungmo did feel hurt, but he just smiles. fake smiles. because that's what he best at. his day just mostly he hang out with hyunbin or wonjin. and he thankful to his friends, that none of them asked anything about him and minhee. or what happened to them to become that. and minhee? he was too busy all over his boyfriend. for jungmo, he never really thought if yunseong is a bad guy or anything because yunseong always nice towards him. for now, jungmo doesnt know. was it all fakes too? 

that goes for weeks. jungmo completely ignored minhee, just like minhee ignored jungmo. and what jungmo didnt expect is, one day, minhee actually asked jungmo to meet after school. and jungmo just nodded, not knowing what to expect. 

__

"what is it?" jungmo asked as soon as both of them at their 'used to be' hang out place. a space, where minhee and jungmo created to spend their time when they sad or just want times alone. 

minhee still silent, playing with the dry leaves. not even looking up at jungmo. 

"minhee, please, what is it? i have planned with hyunbin after this... dont waste my time" jungmo said. 

and minhee let out a chuckles. more like sarcastic types of chuckles. 

"oh,, planned with hyunbin.. or is it a date?" minhee asked, smirk

jungmo let out a sigh "okay for fuck sake, what is the point you want to meet me? and for the record, you have nothing to do with me and hyunbin even if we dating"

"me? have nothing to do with you if you date hyunbin?" minhee laugh. like, he found it really funny when it wasnt. 

"and now, that you have hyunbin, you forgot me? your own bestfriend?" minhee said. the words, hit sharp to jungmo's heart. and now it jungmo time to laugh. 

"minhee what game are you playing now? is it me who forgot you on the first place? um, didnt sounds like right...... as far as i know, this one dude, who USED to be my bestfriend actually leave me after he scored himself a boyfriend.. now that guy put the blame on me, funny right?" 

minhee stay silent. jungmo then put his backpack up, ready to leave minhee alone there. he got enough of this shit, and jungmo is tired of everything. 

as jungmo walk, he heard a soft sobbing. he stop for a while, take a turn on minhee. who are now crying. 

"OKAY MINHEE FOR FUCK SAKE WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING NOW? JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH WHY YOU WANT TO MEET ME HERE, IS IT HARD? JUST FUCKING SA-"

"i miss you. i miss you. i miss us." minhee said, cut off jungmo's word. 

"I MISS US. THAT'S WHY I WANT TO MEET YOU. IM NOT HAPPY WITH YUNSEONG. I REALIZED I MISS YOUR COMPANY. I REALIZED I NEED YOU. I KNOW IM BEING A SHIT FOR THESE FEW MONTHS. I DIDNT VISIT YOU WHEN YOU SICK, IM A TERRIBLE FRIEND, I KNOW. I MISS YOU... PLEASE... IM SORRY..."

jungmo sigh. walk closer to minhee, but still keep a distance between them. jungmo didnt say any words to minhee, he just wait for minhee to rants everything.  
minhee then look at jungmo, 

"i realized,,, that i love you when im with yunseong. i imagining you when im out with yunseong. all these is my fault. im sorry... i love you jungmo" 

jungmo's feeling mixed. but deep down, he still hurt. and he do what he need to do. 

"minhee, listen... i loved you" 

minhee's head shot up, looking straight at jungmo. as if he didnt believed what jungmo just said. 

"i loved you... but not anymore... sorry" 

and with that, jungmo leave. 

this time, without any regretful in his heart, without tears dropping from his eyes, jungmo know, its time for both of them to grow up. to move on from everything.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments are appreciated. 
> 
> hmu at twitter @jungmo_kr


End file.
